Healthy Desserts & Lady Boners
Lady Boner. Yup. That’s right, this is how things are going to go today. Let’s discuss. Before we do that let me preface my teachings with a little back story.
Usually when I am at work I snap a quick picture of the food I am about to serve to my clients and their guests and I post it on Instagram. It’s my way of sharing my work with friends in hopes to somehow spark some sort of voyeuristic hunger and or inspiration. On occasion I will post something that hits us women in all our senses. I posted a picture of a dessert I had made for a client, it was a vegan vanilla bean flan w roasted cherries. A friend of mine commented with the words “I just got a lady boner”, which made me laugh out loud because as ridiculous as it sounded I totally could relate. Much like a man when he sees a beautiful picture of a naked woman, we as women have the things that excite the hell out of us and give us what now is being labelled as a “lady boner”. This happens more often than people would think. I think God got it right when he gave men physical evidence of being aroused because if women could get physical boners we would have them 95% of the day and most of us would end up in jail for lewd behavior every time we stepped foot into a Nordstroms, saw a baby or went shopping at a farmers market. . These are some other things that get us ladies all hot and bothered. Men take note.
Things or activities that cause lady boners:
Alcoholic Drinks in tiny Mason Jars:
Braids!
Tim Riggins. 
NAIL ART!!!
JENNIFER LAWRENCE
CUTE DRESSES AND COWBOY BOOTS!
PUPPIES AND BABIES!
BABIES DRESSED AS PUPPIES!
PUPPIES DRESSED AS BABIES!
OUTDOOR WEDDINGS!
Did I mention TIM RIGGINS?
AND OF COURSE A HEALTHY DESSERT
I don’t know a woman on the planet that doesn’t go ape shit for a good dessert. The problem is the guilt most of us feel as we stuff our faces with sugary, creamy, chocolatley delights. We can feel our asses getting bigger, and we are never in the moment of truly enjoying what we are eating…well at least I’m not. I don’t know about you but as I am eating a dessert my mind is somewhere else, I am constantly thinking “how can I work this off tomorrow?” During my mental workout routine, I realized I have eaten 10 cookies and I am curled in a ball on my couch counting the different scenarios in which I am going to die alone.
It’s desserts like this Vegan Vanilla Flan with RoastedCherries that get ladies like me all hot and bothered. I was inspired by Dr. Andrew Weil’s Vegan Coconut Flan. It is packed with healthy proteins and healthy fats and tastes indulgently delicious. Also did I mention there is no refined cane sugar in it? A dessert I can indulge in that I can feel good about eating? BONER ALERT. (Thanks to Catherine Reitman for coining that phrase)
I recently discovered the magic of coconut sugar. It’s derived from the coconut palm tree and has a lower glycemic index than regular cane sugar. While it’s no miracle food, it’s definitely a better alternative to cane sugar. If you want you can read more about it here. If you can’t find coconut sugar just sub brown sugar or sucanant.
The recipe calls for agar agar powder or flakes. It’s usually in the part of by the seaweed and other asian products in your health store. If you can’t find agar agar powder, you can use gelatin but then this dessert would not be technically vegan, since gelatin is an animal derived product. There are also great vegan vegetable based gelling agents I found at Whole Foods. You can use these with a 1:1 ratio. (1 tablespoon: 1 tablespoon) When all else fails. Google. Order it online.
I recently got myself a new hand blender from KitchenAid, and let me tell you it’s pretty magic. It makes making this recipe super easy, but if you don’t have a hand blender need not worry a regular blender works just fine! Alright enough talking let’s cook!
I start by making a syrup and pouring them into my molds. I used rectangular molds but feel free to use circular ramekins or any other shape. Reserve 1 tablespoon of the syrup. 
I heat the non dairy milk with a vanilla bean and the agar agar. After 5 minutes of cooking I blend it with 2/3 cup of silken tofu, 1 tablespoon of syrup, 2 tablespoons of coconut sugar, and a pinch of salt and blended until smooth.
Then poured that into the molds.
Cover in plastic let it set, unmold top with your fav roasted fruits, fresh berries and VOILA you have FLAN! Congrats girl.
Vegan Vanilla Bean Flan with Roasted Cherries and Fresh Berries
(makes 6)
- Syrup:
- 5 tablespoons coconut sugar (Sucanat or brown sugar works too)
-
3 tablespoons water
Pudding:
- 2/3 cups silken tofu (try and find a sprouted organic brand if you can)
- 2 tablespoons coconut sugar
- 1 tablespoon syrup (see above)
- pinch of salt
- 2 1/2 cup unsweetened vanilla non dairy milk such as almond, soy, rice or hemp milk
- 1 vanilla bean (if you don’t have substitute 1 teaspoon vanilla extract)
-
1 tablespoon agar agar flakes
Roasted Cherries:
- 2 cup cherries, pitted
- 1 tablespoon coconut sugar
- Preheat oven to 425. Place cherries into a greased baking pan or saute pan. Sprinkle coconut sugar on top and mix well. Roast for 20 minutes or until cherries are nice and caramelized. Remove from oven and set aside
- In a small sauce pan over medium low heat bring coconut sugar and water to a simmer and let cook for 4-5 minutes. Set aside.
- In a blender combine tofu, coconut sugar, 1 tablespoon of syrup, and pinch of salt. Blend until smooth.
- Divide the remaining syrup into 6 ramekins, rotating each one to evenly coat the sides.
- In the same saucepan add non-dairy milk, agar agar, and vanilla bean. Bring to a boil, then reduce to a simmer, continue to stir and cook for 5 minutes. Remove vanilla bean and scrape any extra beans from the pod and add back into the milk mixture.
- Add the hot mixture into the blender with the tofu. Carefully turn blender on a let ingredients come together.
- Pour custard into ramekins, skimming off any excess bubbles.
- Wrap each ramekin in plastic wrap and let it set in the fridge.
- To unmold place the bottoms of ramekins in boiling water for a few seconds. Remove plastic wrap and invert onto a dessert plate.
- Top with roasted stone fruits, toasted coconut and serve!
